After Thoughts

Falling for so long

Past the sunrise

Into dark

Ignoring every sign we pass

Missing every mark

On the dartboard–

And therefore every chance.


And if we’d only lifted up our heads

Brushed away the tears

Shrugged off the dread

Found ourselves in the swarm of bees

Raised our voices above the din

Then maybe these smiles would be genuine.


And we all know the story

The fable since time  begun.

That we’re not everlasting

But this youth has me feeling young

In these moments with these eyes

This mouth speaking the words you despise.


“I will never change,”

Like the sun in the sky and the moons

That revolve around it

This power is mine to take

And I demand it.


If we’d only turned the key

Stepped into the unknown

Forced ourselves out of the shell

That we retreated inside of

Then maybe we would see

The glow of the halo’s that were always there

Just hidden away, out of sight,


Maybe then you wouldn’t think about it any more

But you were a little too late,

Hopefully a lesson learnt,

Never treat me as a mere after thought.




Glued together, swaying,

Congealing, unconvincing,

A hot tepid mess.

You don’t know where one ends

And the other one starts


Bare and together

Sharing body heat

Sharing saliva


Amongst a sea

Of silhouetted

Slimy shadows

All beating together

To create a giant heart

Making the club come alive.



White Mist

Blurred locations

That fly by

One by one

Never settling

A consistent constancy

Other than the white mist

A delicate haze

That cloaks the country

A quiet ghost

Which masks the impurities

Outlines without details

Alike a half finished painting

It feels ethereal

With the blazing lamp posts

Doubling as willow-the-wisps

And the bare February trees

Disguised as skeletal figures

Their long limps stretching outwards

Alike the yawning man behind me

As we travel through

This changed land.




A/N: Quite an old one that I found in a notebook that I thought I might as well upload. Thank you for reading! 🙂



Saltwater Tears

They wash away two years of pain,

Like a message in the sand

Fragile and cleansing

They remind where the pain is

Trickling and trailing

A river flows from my numb eyes

And lands on my hands

The guilt is ignited

A fire in my heart

Which reaches boiling point

Making my cheeks glow with shame.

Two years…

A nice memory

And some bad memories

Which like a family photo album

Gets passed around the council

In my head

It blurs by and I grimace

The saltwater tears

Can’t wash away those times

Or put out the fire

That will eventually

Corrupt me inside.





Neck craned

Feet lolled


The music acts

As a backing track

As I sit here

A mere observer

And sculpt your face,

Eyes, ears, nose and flesh

With my pen

The way your eyelashes

Arm your eyelids

Like rays of sunshine

The light of which

Your dark conker eyes hold

The trapped orb reflected from your phone

You lie in a heap on the floor

Amongst the ruins of my room

From which you, like a Phoenix

Rise your mountainous legs to rest

On the edge of the bed.

Triumphant amongst the mess of clothes,

Pencil shavings et al. that our antics caused.




Morse Code

A casual brush of a hand

That sent sparks down my arm

I short wired.

It didn’t compute.

Time lapsed and so did my barriers

A Trojan horse disguised as the tingle

Of your breath between my thighs

Reminding me of endless summer nights

Of youth and all things youthful

For months on end I couldn’t comprehend

Why my heart mimicked the thudding

Of wheels on train tracks

Why it screeched to a halt when you

Entered the room

Like an old steam train

That needed coal, I needed air.

You took my breath away-

Then breathed life back into me

Your touch was CPR to my lungs and my heart!

Everything and nothing makes sense

When I’m with you

But it’s that adrenaline that I crave

The cool measured look you give me

With those conker coloured eyes

The perfect colour to describe your soul

Hard and seamless on the exterior

Cold to the touch

But dig a bit deeper

And there’s a molten lava core

All the luxury of chocolate

And the reminder of ashes

Of a fire that eternally keeps me warm.


It’s One of Those Black Hole Days

Rain clouds following me

People keep dogging me

The phone won’t stop blaring

Men won’t stop staring

There’s a black hole

In the middle of the room


It’s ever encircling

And like a lasso

It drags me toward the land of the waste

Inside is nothing but white noise

Devoid and encroaching

I hear colleagues moaning

Insults fly

Like rifle fire

And I’m the lowly wood pigeon

Caught in the sky

Moments before

Simply thinking I could fly.

Naive to think

I could leave unscathed

I wear the aftermath

Clearly on my face-

I guess it’s one of those black hole days…




*Artwork by Julie Filipenko – my favourite piece by her actually, go check out her etsy store!

Lonely the Independent Ghost

Let me introduce myself-

I used to be a people pleaser

But that made me my own grave digger.

Now I’m a phantom

A spectre and you the spectator

You like to make people feel low

By telling them where to go

And no, hell isn’t my final destination

Instead I remain here,  a mere apparition

I blend, all silvers and golds

An aura of molten gunmetal

A silent beauty

In my own right

Because my silence is temporary

A choice, a decision

A product of independence

Not your indignation.

To stay silent and do the work

Enjoying my own company

And knowing my worth

Rather than letting you tear me down

Isn’t it funny that I’d rather be myself?




I Have a Jigsaw for a Heart

I’m forever tumbling and

never quite landing

sunny side up.

I’m addicted to the scent of you-

musk and lemongrass and

you remind me of long summer days

with the bike rides we go on.


But you’re allusive and

I’m intrusive

that’s my kyptonite

because I’m worried you’ll

fall through the cracks

like sand runs through my hands

here one moment and gone the next.


I’ve had bad experiences

and so have you

I keep trying not to push too much

because I don’t want to break you

my hearts a misshapen jigsaw

ill-fitted and badly put together

some parts are broken

and some lost forever

and others have been shoved together

even though they clearly don’t fit…

and never will…


-But that’s okay because

we can solve it

the two of us

until it’s one big beautiful picture with

the past left behind us.



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